"Fear not the flames. You are the fire."
May these liberation tools and reclamation stories inspire and guide you to navigate time, identity, and creativity, gracefully and joyfully. xo Ella
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14 Lessons on Devotional Writing and Creativity
Here are 14 Lessons from my "6-Month Writing Devotional" aka “Dredging my psyche for bodies" aka "Worst 6 months of my life." I do NOT recommend it. But if you are mad enough to proceed, you will be so freeeeeed. Apply these lessons to re/creating an identity, business, book, revolution, or life worth living. You have been warned. 😉
That's the goal, to survive your gift • A Writing Devotional
If it took 10 years to cultivate the seeds of your masterpiece, would you? If it took another 10 years before reaping the harvest, would you? It’s been 8 years and 3 months of space clawing, shards treading, fire palming and tear tagging. Why?!?
Reclaiming the 4 Types of Knowing
We know that is bad for us, yet we keep doing it. We know this is good for us, yet we keep avoiding it. Why? Because mind-knowing (conceptual) is not enough. We need a full set of heart-knowing (emotional), body-knowing (experiential) and soul-knowing (transcendental) to sustain change and freedom.
The Tao of Creativity • From Inspiration to Actualization
Creativity follows a tao [Chinese: 道], which means path, from chakra to chakra. Any blockage along the way can abort creativity. What are these blockages? Watch this wisdom video to stop living with foot on the gas pedal, but handbrake on.
8 Ways Simplero Eliminated Multiple Systems Chaos
I was spending $240/month!! And even then, I was missing functions that I needed. Now I just use Simplero.com as an all-in-one solution for $169/month.
Self-Development Junkie • Investing $100k/10/98 to Reclaim Freedom
Are you a self-development junkie too? Have you signed up for every retreat that sparked your soul, every workshop that tickled your mind, and every healing modality that soothed your heart? I have...
The 5 Freedom Factors • Discerning Between Passion, Calling, Mission, Vocation and Profession
There is an exquisite freedom at the intersection of: Passion, Calling, Mission, Vocation and Profession. Meet the 3 archetypes who have not quite arrived and why.
Consciously Choosing and Naming our Core Values
Do you ever wonder why you do certain things, and why you don't do certain things? On our path of personal growth, most everything can be traced back to our core values...
The 9 Year Growth Cycles
When you flow with the natural cycles of growth, you feel lighter and more at peace. When forcing against them, it feels like hugging a cactus or walking on porcupines. What will you chose: peace or porcupine?
Power of Sequencing • Top 4 Solopreneur "Wrong Order" Case Studies
If given one match, a lantern, and a map, would you use the match to light the lantern to see the map... or use the match to burn the map and fumble in the dark?
The 10 Types of Freedom • What Freedoms Would You Add to Cart?
After a talk I gave last year, audience members asked me what fuelled / drove my quest for freedom. "All I've ever wanted... is to be free," those words fell out of my jaw for the first time.
The Art and Paradox of Non-Belonging • 20 Strange Ways I Don't Belong
The Universe pumped adventure into my lungs, but clipped my canary wings. The Universe encoded freedom into my soul, but shackled every limb with gender, filial piety, birth order, personality, cultural, and social chains.
Labyrinth of Fears • Unmasking the 25 Faces of Fear
Turns out there aren’t 25 different types of fear. There is one root fear, which wears 25 different masks. If you could unmask each one, could you become fearless, as in less afraid? If you practiced fear dissolution, could you become fear-free? Let’s explore.
The 4 Stages of Adult Learning • What is Branding in Two Words
From unconscious incompetence, to conscious incompetence, to conscious competence, then to unconscious competence, navigating the 4 Stages of Adult Learning is uncomfortable. Yet, there's no way around it...
The Overachiever's Hierarchy of Needs
Today, I'm writing to you from Odessa, Ukraine. Totally did not plan on being here. The only thing I knew about Ukraine is that the Ukrainian figure skater Oksana Baiul who won the gold medal in 1994. And the only thing I knew about Odessa is that it's by the sea. I love the sea <3
Filial Piety & Overcompensation • Why Skyholders, Money Trees and Immigrant Children Are So Burnt Out
Ever since I was little, I was called a "money tree" as a term of endearment. You shake it and money is supposed to fall out. It wasn't until I realized the insidious role of "filial piety" that I understood what drives overachievers and immigrants to burnout.
Adopted Family • Five Degrees of Joy Mirroring (Soul-knowing)
Mama Bear always looked at me with a sparkle of "You. Are. A. Bringer. Of. Joy." Me, joy? As if. But after 5 degrees of mirroring, I couldn't deny it anymore. They didn't see joy in me. They saw me as joy. I was the joy. Could it be?
Flying 52-in-52 • Joy Multiplies When Shared (Heart-knowing)
While handgliding, I felt an invisible force that I couldn't name. Then during a 56-countries-in-52-weeks trip that I did NOT plan or see coming, I felt it again, like a sidekick with a headset that guided me, as I James Bond-ed through that year.
Fields of Gold • Removing the Barriers to Joy (Body-knowing)
During a healing session in Bali, I couldn't perceive or discern my left foot from my right ear. I couldn't feel myself... as if... I had... no self. Through Fields of Gold, my body cried marble tears and felt joy for the very first time.
Mysterious Stuwvyxz • What's your Capacity for Joy? (Mind-knowing)
I was once asked, "What's your capacity for Stuwvyxz?" I don't know. What's Stuwvyxz? I tossed that inquiry in the junk drawer of "Things I Never Knew Existed". Thanks to a rom-com, my mind eventually figured out what Stuwvyxz is.
Private Journals on Somatic Experiencing and Healing Trauma
Will I ever be ok? In this cruel, harsh world? Can I even trust my memories? Or lack thereof? What's real and not real anymore? Isn't healing supposed to restore my energy, not drain it?
Passive Trauma • How Every Human Has Some PTSD
I spent months uneasy with the diagnosis of PTSD. In my ego-construct, PTSD was exclusively reserved for war veterans, refugees, and car crash and assault victims. It turns out, shame had me believe that I wasn't worthy of the PTSD diagnosis, ie of its healing...
Life Purpose Petals • Why Am I Here?
Have you ever caught yourself sobbing "It's not fair!" or ripping your hair out "But that makes no sense!?!" We didn't come here for fairness or sense making. Our souls came here to: grow, love, be loved, enjoy and be of service.
The Barf Bucket • How I Purged Patriarchy from my Body
Our wounds from our Family of Origin are often not about the parent or the perpetrator, but a window into larger forces at play: Sacred Contracts and karmic agreements. There is no overnight healing, but you can get your hands on a "Get Out of Jail Free" card from systemic patriarchy.
Filial Piety • How Asian Parents Sow the Seeds of "Not Enough" and Self-hatred
Ever come home from school with a 99% and had your Asian parent ask you where the 1% went? How about coming home with 109% and still being asked there the 1% went. When the voice of "You're not enough!" are internalized, it turns to shame. Then under the magnifying glass of filial piety, it turns to self-hatred.
The Roasted Butterfly • How Overachievers and the Restless Self-destruct from Shiny Object Syndrome
Do you have Shiny Object Syndrome, aka ADD / ADHD, aka as Squirrel!!! 🐿🐿 🐿 Have you ever been over-zealous, saw something shiny, touched it then got burned?
Power of Iterations • How I Unleashed my Masterclass Organically
I once stumbled upon an e-course called "Create your Damn E-course" and it made me chuckle because without even realizing it, people were damning their own e-courses right from the beginning. No wonder they never finished the e-course, didn't launch it, or launched it but made no money.
Power of Iterations • How I Unleashed my Boutique Brand Organically
This week, doing the right things in the right order is the focus. You must know your ideal client before you tailor your curriculum to their deepest needs.You must build a dream team (even if it just starts with one, plus you) before you dive into recording/editing or you won't make it to the finish line...
Power of Iterations • How I Unleashed my Genius Organically
There is faaaaaar too much hype around "Make $90,000 in 90 Days!", "Be Famous in Five Minutes!", "Six weeks to Six-figures!", or "11 Day E-course Challenge". I'm not saying that those claims don't work. I'm saying that it's not the full picture. I'm saying what they're not saying...
Purging Negative Money Memories Takes Time (Part 4/4)
When I updated this blog series from 2017 in 2021, I realized that 28 of those original 36 memories had vanished. Even under hypnotherapy, I wouldn't have remembered them. They no longer carried any emotional charge. And that is what I call freedom!
Purging Negative Money Memories Takes Time (Part 3/4)
Asking an overachiever to be patient is is like asking a bowling ball to float. Because we are super-doers, we think we can out-do the Universe. Ha! Purging negative memories is a journey of healing, forgiveness and surrendering to the grand unfolding of our lives.
Purging Negative Money Memories Takes Time (Part 2/4)
An emotionally charged money incident can scar or even traumatize a child. Just because our body has aged chronologically, it doesn't mean that inner child has recovered. How do we unwire and rewire our fear and scarcity circuitries?
Purging Negative Money Memories Takes Time (Part 1/4)
With every client who has money gremlins, we do a "Negative Money Memory Purge." It helps pull whatever guilt, hurt, shame, anxiety, or fear associated with money out of their psyche. Then we burn the paper(s) 🔥 to free the mind, heart and body.
The Liberator's Journey... for a Freedom Seeker (Part 3)
What happens after we return home, powerful and whole? The hungry freedom seeker is about to transform into a fulfilled liberator on The Liberator's Journey...
The Heroine's Journey... for a Woman Overachiever (Part 2)
Instead of transforming a hero from lone outcast to victorious warrior, The Heroine's Journey transforms a heroine from abandoned girl to reclaimed goddess....
The Hero's Journey... for a Lifestyle Entrepreneur (Part 1)
Anytime you're about to do something new, different, or daring, whether you know it or not, you are embarking on a quest. Joseph Campbell coined this quest The Hero's Journey...
My 16 Careers • Reinventing Identities as a Spiritual Guide (Part 16/16)
All these spiritual flues, energetic ascensions, and mystical experiences, I never asked for any of them. Did I? I feel like I made a heap of choices before coming to Earth, but I can't remember most of them. Would I have lived differently if I remembered those choices?
My 16 Careers • Reinventing Identities as a Psychotherapist (Part 15/16)
Midway through my certification, I developed the ability to feel what my clients were feeling, but 2-3 days before they felt it. Hearts were cracked open and mended with grace. But just because you can, doesn't mean you should...
My 16 Careers • Reinventing Identities as an Aerial Yoga Studio (Part 14/16)
I literally smacked into this career identity, which would lead to a love at first sight partnership 6 years later. The studio was up and running in 3 weeks time! But it's true what they say: if you're gonna fail, fail fast. But first, try everything 3 times.
My 16 Careers • Reinventing Identities as a Wealth Mentor (Part 13/16)
I could have coasted through this semi-retirement lifestyle for decades, but my soul yearned and cried for deeper meaning and broader contribution. "F*ck you, soul! Why can't you just be content?!?" Ah, but a smooth sea never made a skilled sailor...
My 16 Careers • Reinventing Identities as a Success Coach (Part 12/16)
For the first time in my life, I felt seen for who I am, not for what I'd achieved. I had no idea that I had walked into the alchemical fire that would forge me from a freedom seeker into a liberator. All triggered by a date who stood me up!
My 16 Careers • Reinventing Identities as a Web Design Agency (Part 11/16)
This career identity took twice as long to let go than to build. I resented the Universe for calling me onto a new path, which I didn't even ask for it, and for making something I adored feel like such a drag.
My 16 Careers • Reinventing Identities as a United Nations Consultant (Part 10/16)
This career was dreamier than the previous dream career. If I let it go there will be nothing left. It'd be years before I'd know that when you reach the end of your rope, the Universe intervenes. Not to hand you a new rope (that would be too easy), but to...
My 16 Careers • Reinventing Identities as a Global E-Strategist (Part 9/16)
I lined up 5 interviews in 5 days in New York City, got on a plane, got a job offer and apartment on Day 6, flew home on Day 7 to pack and moved my entire life to NYC on Day 8. That is what "all in" looked like.
My 16 Careers • Reinventing Identities as an International Aid Worker (Part 8/16)
For the first time in my life I followed my heart, not what was demanded of me. I decided I wanted to do good as a career, it was destined for me. I would learn the hard way that destiny is not a destination.
My 16 Careers • Reinventing Identities as a Systems Designer (Part 7/16)
Go ahead, put on the golden shackles, I am ready to become the work ox and ATM machine I was born to be. It be another 12 years before I'd learn about "spiritual aridity" and how the cost of misery is too high a price to pay.
My 16 Careers • Reinventing Identities as an Energy Researcher (Part 6/16)
I felt mad making a career 180 and starting over from scratch at this point. Who walks away from job offers and amazing female mentors?!? It'd be another 9 years before I discerned: Just because you can, doesn't mean you should.
My 16 Careers • Reinventing Identities as an Aerospace Engineer (Part 5/16)
Someone out there is able to study the cosmos thanks to aerospace telescope parts that I made with my two bare hands. But keeping the awe of the cosmos in my heart isn't the same as spending an entire career climbing uphill toward an impenetrable "Boys Club."
My 16 Careers • Reinventing Identities as a Banking Officer (Part 4/16)
I did a career 180 when I went into banking, thinking I'd finally become the best white man and eldest son I was supposed to be. Ha! In the end, only three things matter: one of them is letting go of things not meant for you.
My 16 Careers • Reinventing Identities as an Industrial Machinist (Part 3/16)
I had never touched any kind of industrial machinery before, but my aluminum coupling turned out better than my mentor's. But that career would have been an over-compensation for the career that my dad loss.
My 16 Careers • Reinventing Identities as a Web Developer (Part 2/16)
I made websites just because, out of pure joy, pure curiosity, pure creativity. Then people started paying me for it. Who knew that would happen?!? But with every gain, there is great loss...