Have you ever caught yourself sobbing "It's not fair!" or ripping your hair out "But that makes no sense!?!"
We didn't come here for fairness or sense making.
Our souls came here to: grow, love, be loved, enjoy and be of service.
Yes, growing can be painful. Loving can be hard. Being loved can be even harder, sometimes insurmoutable. Enjoyment goes hand-in-hand with suffering (same coin, different sides). And being of service can leave us more alone and lost than before.
The point is to converge, as gracefully and joyfully as possible, toward our destiny, that center point where we score high on all 5 purposes of life: to grow, love, be loved, enjoy and be of service.
And yet, to leave some room to love and be loved, deeper and wider.
I promise you, if you achieved 7/7 on all petals of purpose, you'd be either:
- bored out of your mind,
- nauseated from constant and hysterical yearning for: what now? what else? what next?
- or returned to consciousness in a "I'm out bitches, f*ck this Earth School shit! I ain't comin' back. <insert mic drop>"
Beware of Martyrdom
Beware of martyrdom. I see this most often amongst rising overachievers, freedompreneurs, and mystics out of monastery:
Growth - You score 10/7. You've hit the convergence point. You’re the classic self-development junkie 🙌. You're the victim turned/turning victor, the wounded survivor turned/turning spiritual warrior. You’re open, curious, willing, and brave (but you don't acknowledge or see your own courage... yet). You have mofo stamina and have/cultivated mofo resilience after every fall.
Love - You score 5/7. You give and give and give and give and love and love and love and love. So technically, you should score 10/7 again. You pour your entire mind, heart, body and soul into loving others, but you rarely/never love and pour into yourself. Minus 2.5 points. Also, co-dependence and hovering (à la smothering helicopter mom) is NOT love. Minus 2.5 points.
Serve - You score 5/7. Technically, based on all the above giving and loving, you should again score 10/7. But setting yourself on fire to keep someone else warm is NOT service, it's martyrdom. Martyrdom is NOT service, martyrdom is martyrdom. Minus 2.5 points. Also prostituting yourself, ie giving away something of GREAT value (your time, genius, resources, money, talents, services, products, energy, focus, body, etc.) in exchange for very little (or nothing) in return, is NOT service. Prostitution is NOT service, prostitution is prostitution.
Enjoy - You score 0/7. Joy, what’s that? Vacation, fun, rest, play, recharge, beauty, pleasure and delight, never heard of it.
Be loved - You score 1/7. Not only have you been waaaaaay under-loved, you basically have been un-loved up until now. (As if murderers and criminals deserve forgiveness and love, but you're the ONLY one in the entire Milky Way who doesn't...)
It's Not Supposed to Make Sense
During the first month of national lockdown, amongst my clients, friends and besties, we experienced:
- the highest income since our business started (What, during a global pandemic?!? That makes no sense.)
- Zoom working with one client, but not with the very next 2 minutes later (We didn't touch a thing. That makes no sense.)
- bank transfers that worked just fine for the last 2.5 years are suddenly not arriving at their destination (Same app, same sender, same receiver. That makes no sense.)
- the most compassionate bestie, who used to be our loving confidant, flips overnight to finger pointing, judgement, blame, hyper drama, projection (She has known worse. What happened to her? That makes no sense.)
- grieving and crying over that gal leaving our city to fly back to their home country (When we're not even friends! We're only part of the same Whatsapp group. That makes no sense.)
- more client referrals in the last two months than the last year combined (But we didn't run a campaign or change any of our marketingThat makes no sense.)
We didn't come here for sense making. Our souls came here to grow, love, be loved, enjoy and be of service.
Live fierce and free,
Fan the flames
Spread the freedom
What did you feel or take away? Every comment frees genius and spreads freedom.
"Fear not the flames. You are the fire."
May these reclamation stories and liberation tools inspire and guide you to navigate time, identity and creativity, gracefully and joyfully. xo, Ellany
To renew or sustain an identity or business,
start with Freedom Fundamentals. ⤵︎