I don't drink alcohol. Ever. I don't drink coffee. Ever. I've never smoked a thing in my life. Other than prescription pain killers after removing my wisdom teeth, I still only use children's ibuprofen, for sports injuries once or twice a year.
So for me to be lead to plant medicines, which I had never even heard of 6 months prior, divine intervention was definitely at play. Never did I ever imagine that I'd sign up for a 3-moon 100k/10/98 retreat:
- 4 days, 3 nights, 3 Aya ceremonies,
- next full moon: 4 days, 3 nights, 3 Aya ceremonies,
- next full moon: 4 days, 3 nights, 3 Aya ceremonies.
Hey, if I'm gonna do something, I'm gonna do it all it, full out!
I specifically chose my entheogen retreats in a psychotherapeutic context, with extensive group debriefs with trained psychotherapists. It wasn’t to get high. My life was more than high enough.
I wanted deep, permanent healing and vast, permanent freedom... from the past [link to self-hatred blog], from my traumas [link to passive trauma blog], from filial piety [link to bog] and patriarchy [link to blog].
There are no words (yet) to describe the experience...
Ayahuasca In Words • Attempt no. 1
Ayahuasca In Words • Attempt no. 2
But where I was the clock...
Ayahuasca In Words • Attempt no. 3
Ayahuasca In Words • Attempt no. 4
... as if the plant medicine fried my self-harming circuits and the urge to touch the cupcake was gone.
Ayahuasca In Words • Attempt no. 5
First day home, post-retreat, I kept having aha moments every 4-6 minutes. I couldn't stop them, nor did I want to. A week later, the inundation of aha moments subsided to one every few hours. More to come...
With infinite grace,
First Published Nov 8, 2017)
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